I was 18 years and 4 1/2 (ish) months old when my Mom died. I am 36 years and 9 months (ish) old right now. In case you don’t have enough fingers and toes to do the math, that means my mom died half my life ago. Half of my life.
I can’t wrap my brain around that. It’s been way more than 18 years since I’ve hugged her or told her about my day or heard her tell me she loved me. It’s been a hundred years at least. It feels closer to a thousand years…
On the flip side, she’s here with me constantly. Not just in photos around my apartment or genetics, but in who I am, the things I think or do or say. (Who remembers my mother after a delicious meal sitting back from the table and exclaiming “my seatbelt is too tight!” That’s something I do too.) So much of who I am is from my mother that it’s never felt like she was gone, maybe just away for a long while. Every time I eat at The Bear Pit, Mom is with me. Whenever I go to the cemetery and leave jelly beans instead of rocks, Mom is with me. (There’s no deep philosophical meaning to jelly beans in regards to death, don’t look for one. Once when I was a kid we couldn’t find any stones or rocks to put on the headstones we were visiting, but in a flash of brilliance Mom remembered we had jelly beans in the car so we used those instead. We laughed so hard we cried!)
I guess there’s no real point to this post except to acknowledge the passing of time. It’s been half my life, but she’s here in me every day.
Social media has been good to me lately. Really good. So you remember that I just got back from a NASA Social at Kennedy Space Center? Still recovering from that trip, I was selected for another social media event, this time to go to the California Science Center. (This one involved significantly less travel!)
From the press release:
“Go for Payload” is a delicate operation that will install a flown SpaceHab and other equipment into Endeavour’s Payload Bay. The installation of the SpaceHab will take place on the day of the news conference.
The payload being installed is a similar configuration to the load carried on the STS-118 mission. Former NASA astronaut Barbara Morgan, who served as STS-118 Mission Specialist, will be present at the news conference. The operation takes place from now to October 25, 2014. This will be the first time the payload bay doors of an operational orbiter have been opened anywhere except at the Kennedy Space Center or the Palmdale assembly facility. The doors are made of very lightweight composite material and were not designed to be operated on Earth under its gravitational influence. As a result, it requires specific equipment and procedures to operate safely. This will also be the last time a payload is installed in a space shuttle.
Walking in, Endeavour was as awe-inspiring as she always is but there was a little more ‘oomph’ to her this time as she was all open and ready for the SpaceHab to be installed.
Endeavour with her payload bay doors open (click for full size)
Brief clip of Astronaut Barbara Morgan during her Q&A
In front of Endeavour
In front of SpaceHab
Also really cool: Allen Chen was at the event as a social media participant. You might remember him from the night Curiosity landed on Mars. Yup, he lands things on other planets for a living. If not the coolest job ever, definitely in the top 5! It took a little bit of effort not to follow him around and pester him with a zillion questions about what he does, thankfully there were other things happening to distract me. 😉
The hashtag for the event was #GoForPayload if you want to search social media and see other people’s photos and video. The California Science Center can be found on twitter here and Facebook here.
When you’re at the California Science Center you can’t not go visit your favorite exhibits.
(Okay clearly I’m mostly interested in the pictures where you can see me, but can you blame me? I’m in the same photo as a space shuttle, that’s never getting old!) 😉
A great picture of SpaceHab’s final location, inside Endeavour
When Endeavour’s permanent home is built she’ll be displayed vertically with a fuel tank and boosters, as though on the launch pad ready for take off. I can’t wait!
I feel like I’ve been hit by lightning. Twice. Well, that sounds like a bad thing has happened to me, and it’s pretty much the opposite of that. A really awesome thing happened to me. Twice. Let me explain… Remember when I went to that event called a “NASA Social” at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory? And it was kind of an ‘opportunity-of-a-lifetime’ thing? I went to my second NASA Social, this time at Kennedy Space Center in Florida. I don’t know what the actual chances are mathematically, but I know that I’ve been throwing my hat into the ring (so to speak) nearly every NASA Social for years and years and was never selected. And then I was, twice in less than a year!
This NASA Social was built around the Space X CRS 4 resupply mission to the International Space Station. There is a really good “overview and highlights” summary here and the press kit is here if you want to know more about the mission and what was going to the International Space Station. (It’s really fascinating stuff!)
Over the course of two days we were “press” in the NASA TV briefing room for five different panels.
SpaceX CRS-4 Earth Science Cargo Previewed; Steve Cole, NASA Office of Communications; Steve Volz, Science Mission Directorate, NASA Headquarters; Ernesto Rodriguez, ISS-RapidScat Project Scientist, NASA JPL; Howard Eisen, ISS-RapidScat Project Manager, NASA JPL
Setting up the 3D printer
3D printer
SpaceX CRS-4 Technology Cargo Previewed; Mike Curie, NASA Public Affairs; Duane Ratliffe, Chief Operating Officer, CASIS; Mike Yagley, Director of Research and Testing, COBRA PUMA Golf; Dr. Eugene Boland, Chief Scientist, Techshot; Jason Gilbert, Scientific Associate, Novartis Institutes for BioMedical Research; Niki Werkheiser, Projet Manager, 3D Printing in Zero G
We all know if there is a Star Trek connection anywhere I’ll find it! (“Made in Space” is the name of the company, this wasn’t actually made in space. Yet.)
“Made in Space” patch
SpaceX CRS-4 Model Organisms Cargo Previewed; Stephanie Schierholz, NASA Office of Communications; Marshall Porterfield, Division Director, Space Life and Physical Sciences, NASA HQ; Sheila Neilson, Principal Investigator, Micro 8; Sharmila Bhattacharya, Principal Investigator, Ames Student Fruit Fly Experiment; Ruth Globus, Project Scientist, Rodent Habitat/Rodent Research, NASA Ames
ISS ‘View from the Top’ Briefing; Stephanie Schierholz, NASA Office of Communications; Sam Scimemi, International Space Station Division Director, NASA HQ; Jeff Sheehy, Senior Technologist, Space Technology, NASA HQ; Ellen Stofan, NASA Chief Scientist
Next SpaceX mission to ISS previewed; Mike Curie, NASA Public Affairs; Hans Koenigsmann, VP of Mission Assurance, Space X; Kathy Winters, Launch Weather Officer, 45th Weather Squadron
Next SpaceX mission to ISS previewed; Mike Curie, NASA Public Affairs; Hans Koenigsmann, VP of Mission Assurance, Space X; Kathy Winters, Launch Weather Officer, 45th Weather Squadron
Mission logo
The @nasa wifi password is out of control difficult. Seems appropriate. 😉 #NASASocial
(Techshot couldn’t give us shot glasses at a NASA sponsored event, so they gave us “paper clip holders” and can’t be held accountable if we use them for other things. Like delicious beverages.)
The Kennedy Space Center Visitor’s Center is the tourist attraction, a space theme park if you will. I had one free day in Florida and I am so glad I spent it here. The sheer amount of history on display is overwhelming, and if you’re a space nerd like me, one day is not enough. (Some of these photos are horrible and for that I apologize. I’ll never understand why, when setting up items for museum display, those in charge choose dim lighting and reflective surfaces. There were so many impressive items that aren’t pictured here, these are just the best photos from a bad lot.) If you ever get the chance to go to the Kennedy Space Center Visitor’s Center, GO! You won’t regret it.
Mercury 12B – This capsule served as the backup spacecraft for Wally Schirra’s Mercury 8 flight. It is one of five Mercury capsules produced that never flew in space.
Mercury 12B – This capsule served as the backup spacecraft for Wally Schirra’s Mercury 8 flight. It is one of five Mercury capsules produced that never flew in space.
Gemini capsule flown by Thomas Stafford and Gene Cernan, launched on June 3, 1966.
Gemini capsule flown by Thomas Stafford and Gene Cernan, launched on June 3, 1966.
Gemini capsule flown by Thomas Stafford and Gene Cernan, launched on June 3, 1966.
Heat Shield of the Gemini capsule flown by Thomas Stafford and Gene Cernan, launched on June 3, 1966.
Gemini spacesuit
Apollo spacesuit
1/50 scale Apollo Command and Service modules mated with Lunar module.
1/50 scale Apollo Command and Service modules mated with Lunar module.
Apollo era Astronaut Van – used to transport fully suited crews from the Manned Spacecraft Operations Building to the launch pad approximately eight miles away.
Apollo era Astronaut Van – used to transport fully suited crews from the Manned Spacecraft Operations Building to the launch pad approximately eight miles away.
Skylab Multiple Docking Adapter
On loan from Capt. James Lovell. (Note the Apollo 13 patch.)
Inside of a Lunar Module
Lunar Rover
Lunar Sample
In appreciation “for a job well done” the Apollo 13 crew presented this plaque to Kennedy Space Center personnel in 1970. It features a piece of the armrest of Lunar Module Aquarius.
This manual, signed by Mission Commander James Lovell, was used as a reference throughout the Apollo 13 crisis.
Apollo 14 Capsule “Kitty Hawk”
January 31 – February 9, 1971
Lunar Sample
Moon Rock Containment Vessels
Apollo 7 Flight Plan
October 11-22, 1968
Apollo 17 Go/No Go Cue Card
December 7-19, 1972
This printed card is covered with lunar dust.
Test Supervisor’s Log Book
Fire Extinguisher, Apollo 14, January 31 – February 9, 1971 (With the Apollo 14 capsule in the background)
Lunar Sample Bag Dispenser
Lunar Module Systems Activation Checklist
Apollo 10 May 18-26, 1969
AiResearch Advanced Extra-Vehicular Suit, 1967
Litton B1-A Advanced Extra-Vehicular Suit, 1969
Roger Chaffee’s watch
Hand Casts of the Apollo 11 Astronauts
Space Shuttle Engine
Space Shuttle Engine
This is what the inside of a Space Shuttle looks like.
Space Shuttle tool box
Space wrench
Space Shuttle era AstroVan
If you lived on the International Space Station this is what your ‘bedroom’ might look like.
International Space Station toilet
“For the eyes of the world now look into space, to the moon and to the planets beyond, and we have vowed that we shall not see it governed by a hostile flag of conquest, but by a banner of freedom and peace.” – John F. Kennedy
The Space Shuttle Atlantis is on display at the Kennedy Space Center Visitor’s Center, but I separated out these pictures from the others because, well, there’s a lot of them. I’m a little obsessed, you should see how many pictures I took of her and didn’t post! To me every single photo of Atlantis is a special snowflake showing details that aren’t shown as well as in the twenty other identical photos taken at the same angle, but your mileage may vary. 😉
I know I have been all about Endeavour these past few years but that’s because she’s here in LA and I can see her as often as I can convince someone to take me to the California Science Center, but if you’d asked me as a child which was my favorite Space Shuttle I’d have said Atlantis. If you know me really well, you probably know why. Anyone want to guess? (Hey, I never said it was a good reason!)
No really, I’m sitting underneath the Space Shuttle Atlantis right now. Freaking out a little.
Does anybody who follows me on twitter remember when I sat, just kickin’ it, underneath Space Shuttle Endeavour? (8 year old me would NEVER believe it!) Well, I’ve done that under two Space Shuttles now, and it never gets less cool.
And like any good theme park, they are more than happy to take your picture and your money.
The Astronaut Hall of Fame was really impressive, lots of displays and artifacts that deserved way more time than I had to give them. Once again, poor lighting and reflective surfaces, apologies. It is separate from the Kennedy Space Center, but a general admission ticket to KSC gets you in free to the Hall of Fame. If you’re visiting KSC make time to stop here.
America’s first man in orbit, John Glenn, wore this jumpsuit after completing his 3-orbit flight aboard Friendship 7.
Items used aboard various Mercury flights
Mercury Spacecraft “Sigma 7” – 6 orbit flight on October 3, 1962 – Astronaut Walter M. Schirra, Jr.
Mercury Spacecraft “Sigma 7” – 6 orbit flight on October 3, 1962 – Astronaut Walter M. Schirra, Jr.
Does this count as a “selfie?”
Mercury Spacecraft “Sigma 7” – 6 orbit flight on October 3, 1962 – Astronaut Walter M. Schirra, Jr.
The Mercury 7 astronauts signed this baseball used in the first Houston Astros game in the new Astrodome.
Items used by Mercury’s Faith 7 pilot Gordon Cooper
Cameras used in space
This 16mm Maurer camera was a backup for the one used by Jim McDivitt on Gemini 4 to photograph Ed White as he pinwheeled over the Earth.
Eating and drinking in space
Space music
John Young’s jacket
Mission patches
Alan Shepard’s training spacesuit, Apollo 14, January 31 – February 5, 1971
Pete Conrad used this scoop to collect rocks and soil at Apollo 12’s Oceanus Procellarum landing site.
This metal mid-deck chair flew on early Challenger and Columbia missions and was later replaced by a more lightweight chair.
Space food
This Coca-Cola machine (a mockup) was the prototype for the actual Coca-Cola dispensing device flown on STS-77 in 1996 which managed to serve a drinkable cola. It controlled the temperature of the beverage during mixing and dispensing with computer accuracy, and minimized agitation.
Experiment Control and Monitoring Module (ECMM)
Empty space tool box
Astronaut Passports are stamped by designated landing site countries in the event of an emergency space shuttle landing.
Com Units
During the flight of Apollo 12 to and from the Moon, mission commander Pete Conrad wore this constant wear garment.
Deke Slayton’s personal items
Helmets
Wally Schirra’s jacket and Fellowship award
Deke Slayton’s ID badges
Actual console from the Mission Control Center in Houston, TX. This console and others like it controlled the six Apollo Moon landings, Skylab, Apollo-Soyuz, and Shuttle flights through 1996.
The giant vehicles were used to carry spacecraft from the Vehicle Assembly Building to the launch pad. The pair of crawlers were originally built in 1965 to transport the Saturn V rockets, and transported orbiters ready to launch during the length of the space shuttle program. Each crawler is the size of a baseball infield, and is powered by locomotive and large electrical power generator engines. Hydraulics keep the crawler surface flat even when it is going up an incline. In the future, one is expected to take commercially operated rockets and spacecraft to the launch pad. The other is being strengthened to handle the Space Launch System (SLS), a rocket and launch tower combination heavier than even the Saturn V moon rockets the crawlers were designed for. (I stole that info from a NASA document here, which you should all go read, because it’s kind of fascinating. Some more history about the crawlers is here.)
ULA is United Launch Alliance, the love child of Lockheed Martin and Boeing. (Their marketing people probably don’t want me to describe it that way, sorry!) The floor is the Horizontal Integration Facility is the flattest in the country. That is a Delta IV rocket you see there, getting ready for a planned December launch. This will be the rocket that takes Orion on its first test flight. Historic!
Duct tape spotted at @nasa proving once and for all, it fixes EVERYTHING! 🙂 #NASASocial
Here I am standing in front of a Delta IV rocket. Or part of one anyway, one of us was too wide to fit in the photo!
Whoever does social media for ULA made my day. Almost no one I encounter knows what my online ‘name’ is a reference to, @ULAlaunch not only got it, but told me they loved it.
There is a cool video here of the roll out and lift of this Delta IV rocket.
Is it possible to have romantic feelings for a building? I think if it is, I have a massive crush on NASA’s Vehicle Assembly Building. The photos show that the VAB is big, but what they don’t show you is just how big. No really, the VAB is even more impressive in person.
NASA’s VAB was constructed using 65,000 cubic yards of concrete, 45,000 steel beams, 1 million steel bolts, and 98,590 tons of steel.
It would take 250 billion ping pong balls to fill the VAB. (That is 791 times the population of the United States.)
13 Saturn V rockets were processed for Apollo and the Skylab space station.
The American Flag on the front of the VAB is 209 feet high and 110 feet wide. The blue field is the size of an NBA regulation basketball court. Each star is 6 feet across. Each stripe is 9 feet wide.
The VAB high bay doors are the largest doors in the world at 456 feet high, and take about 45 minutes to completely open or close.
It took 6,000 gallons of paint to originally paint the American flag and bicentennial logo on the VAB.
The VAB’s 325 ton crane can lift 47 full grown African Elephants.
Space shuttles were prepared in the VAB for 135 missions.
By volume the VAB = 3 1/2 Empire State Buildings.
(Facts totally stolen from a handout on the VAB we were given.)
The NASA News Center Annex was out home-away-from-home while we were at the Kennedy Space Center.
(Hi Andres!)
A quick peek inside the Vehicle Assembly Building
If you’ve ever seen pictures of rockets ready to take humans to the moon or of a space shuttle ready to launch, you’ve seen NASA’s Launch Complex 39, made up of launch pads 39A and 39B. Launch pad 39A has been leased to Space X who are modifying it to launch various Falcon rockets. Launch pad 39B will be modified for SLS and other commercial launches. I really can’t say enough about the history these launch pads have seen.
We were driven out to launch pad 39B. It was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever been privileged enough to do, and I got a bit emotional.
Off in the distance all the way to the left is launch pad 39A, in the picture to the right is launch pad 39B. Yay for cameras that have ‘panorama’ features 😉
“Tour @nasa and see things big enough to need the panorama function on your camera.” – NASA’s new ad campaign, probably. #NASASocial
Space X was very busy getting the Falcon 9 rocket ready to launch at another launch pad, and we were allowed to go to the launch pad and watch. The Falcon 9 is horizontal until just a few hours before launch, so it might not look the way you’re expecting it to.
“Rocket Rd.” with a rocket in the background!
Cameras set up to photograph the launch.
This is also where the story takes a horrifying turn. (Dun, dun, DUN!) On the bus before getting out to see the rocket we were warned that a giant rattlesnake had been spotted around there in the last few days and to watch our step. There’s pretty much nothing that will make me freak out more. I got out of the bus, snapped as many pictures as I could in a very short amount of time, and climbed back on the bus to sit and wait for everyone else. (Assuming everyone wasn’t taken out by the snake and I was in fact the last living human who would ever board that particular bus.) So what did we learn from this experience? My fear of snakes is actually greater than my love of space awesomeness, and when push comes to shove I’m not ‘team player.’ Alien invasion or zombie apocalypse? I’ll fight (and die if necessary) shoulder-to-shoulder by your side, comrades in arms. But snakes? I’m outta here, it’s everyone for themselves!
Shuttle ran into a buzzard on launch once. NASA started leaving an animal carcass far away to attract the buzzards during launch #NASASocial
M113 Armored Escape Vehicle – Three were on hand on shuttle launch day. Two stood by less than a mile from the launch pad, each with a crew of firefighters on board. The other M113 sat empty with its back ramp open facing the door of an emergency bunker near the pad.
And then it was time for the launch… It was the middle of the night. These things rarely stick to schedule. The weather was bad and getting worse. Everyone was trying to stay positive, the bus ride to out viewing site was actually really fun, but I think we all knew… And then the launch was scrubbed. For a number of reasons I couldn’t change my travel plans to stay for the launch attempt 24 hours later. (And there was no guarantee that one wouldn’t get scrubbed too.) So there ended the NASA Social for me. I was a little bummed not to see a launch, sure, but overall the experience was so overwhelmingly amazing and full of bucket list moments that I really can’t be sad. Kind of like getting sprinkles on the icing on your cake, you can’t really be sad if there isn’t confetti while you eat it. (Did that even make any sense? It makes sense in my head, I swear!)
Thank you to NASA for having this event and inviting me. Thank you to Jason and everyone on the social media team for all their hard work. Especially thank you to Andres who I know I made extra work for, and who never once seemed anything less than delighted to accommodate me. Last but not least, huge thanks go to a very special friend without whom I wouldn’t have been able to attend in the first place. This really was a highlight in my life and something I will never forget!
Hello, long time no talk huh? Things I don’t love in life have been getting in the way of things I do, which is really no excuse but is the truth. I literally have a list of things I want to write about, as well as a ton of photos I’ve taken and need to sort through. Instead of trying to explain (or make more excuses) why don’t you just read this article, which will explain a lot: 6 Things about Chronic Pain You Didn’t Know You Knew. (That last one on the list is so, so true!)
Do you guys know who Chris Hadfield is? If you’re active on social media you probably know him as the astronaut who took twitter by storm while he was living in space.
He’s also a musician.
This one is my favorite:
There are a bunch of other fun videos on the internet he did while living on the International Space Station if you search for them. Well, he’s back on Earth now and he’s written a book.
Today a friend and I went to hear Chris Hadfield speak and get our books signed. He was so fascinating to listen to, adorable with the kids in the crowd, and took the time to make everyone there feel special while he was signing for them.
I mean really, what a cutie pie!
Yes, I am wearing a pin in the shape of the International Space Station. Chris Hadfield complimented me on it!
Another photo of the same moment taken by a friend.
Now with video!
With all of my recent adventures it seems like my life has taken on a space theme lately. And I’m enjoying every minute of it! 🙂
I’ve been trying to write this post for about 24 hours now, and I just can’t. I can’t find the words to express how incredible and amazing an utterly mind blowing the experience of going to a NASA Social was… Maybe the words will come to me once I’ve had more time to process the experience, but for now here are some of my pictures, they’ll have to tell the story for me.
The Von Karman Auditorium was “home base” for us. How do you decorate your auditorium? Well, if you’re JPL you decorate with space craft…
The list of speakers we heard was impressive. Another attendee said something about how everyone was so excited to have us there at JPL and share their work with us, and that was so true. Everyone was fascinating and I know I missed at least half of everything between trying to listen, take pictures, and tweet all at the same time. I tried to be good with details, but if I’ve gotten anything wrong in this post please let me know in the comments.
A 2 hour portion of the program was broadcast on NASA TV and has been uploaded to you tube. (Start around 16:30. For some reason the beginning is just a title card for a long time.)
Suzy Dodd, Project Manager on Voyager gives us an update. Voyager’s mission was supposed to last 4 years. She launched in 1977 and she’s still going! “Voyager is an ambassador on a goodwill mission” says Suzy.
Voyager has many features, including an 8 Track. The phone in your pocket has more memory than Voyager.
Hearing from Kevin Hand who is in Alaska right now designing an underwater rover. We watched video of methane bubbles trapped under the ice being lit on fire!
Saying goodbye at the end of day 2. I didn’t want to leave.
When we arrived on day 2 there were parts on our tables. Actual spacecraft parts! And there were scientists and engineers all throughout the room to explain the parts and demonstrate NASA’s various apps.
(If you see a table tent in the photo it was just the table name, it isn’t connected to the part on the table.)
So cute!
Bobak explains how Curiosity’s cables were cut
I’m in this picture if you know where to look
Does this look like some sort of Klingon weapon to anyone else?
And of course while we were in the room I had to take the obligatory “pretending I work at NASA” picture.
We had a speaker on Monday who was not in the program. LeVar Burton who was at JPL to shoot a PSA graciously made time to stop and talk to us.
Our time at JPL wasn’t all speakers, we were treated to tours of some amazing places…
The JPL Museum complete with scientists and demonstrations
Life Size Sojourner Rover. She’s so cute! I want a stuffed version of her to sit with the Enterprise and Space Shuttle on my bed. 🙂
“In 1969, the Apollo 12 crew brought back this piece of Surveyor 3‘s surface sampler. It was used to dig trenches in the Moon’s surface to learn about the lunar soil.”
Moon rock brought back from the Moon by the Apollo 16 astronauts in 1972.
Meteorites from asteroid Vesta found in Antarctica
They showed us a video of the room on Curiosity’s landing night, while we were sitting in that room. I got a little misty-eyed. Dare Mighty Things, indeed…
The Spacecraft Assembly Building
And the Mars Yard.
(I have no idea where this originally came from, but I’ve seen it online a few times and it always cracks me up!)
I’ve done a lot of really cool things in my life. This was the coolest.
I think I took about 300 pictures in the Mars Yard alone, I was really excited to be there!
This may just be the cutest sign I’ve ever seen!
Curiosity stops every meter and a half to take pictures. I do that too. She is plotting best course to take, I’m just easily distracted!
Those holes in her wheel spell out a trail of morse code as she roves around.
Curiosity’s twin on Earth is called Maggie. (This one doesn’t have the nuclear generator.)
These wheels are the old design, which had “JPL” on them. NASA wasn’t too hot on that idea apparently and asked for a change. The engineers at JPL complied, but NASA didn’t find out until it was too late that the new design said “JPL” in morse code. (Does this count as the first graffiti on Mars?)
Meet “Scarecrow.” She is just Curiosity’s frame. It makes up for the weight differential between Earth and Mars.
Hangin’ out with my new pal Curiosity! (okay, Maggie)
JPL is a really beautiful place, in addition to all of the awesome science happening there…
Science-y street names
Deer live at JPL, here’s one just kinda hanging out 😉
It was a beautiful day. (If you look at the bottom of the picture you can see @TinaCassler waving!)
Here are the official group photos from JPL. (Click to see various sizes, up to and including ginormous!)
Now back to real life, but I sure could get used to being treated like a VIP at JPL every day! 🙂
Health update: These two days were very hard on my body, especially the 2nd day. I’m not sure how long it will take me to recover (so to speak) but everything was more than worth it! The staff at JPL had a golf cart standing by to take me where I needed to go, and other than a few places I was able to sit down when I needed to. No one made me feel singled out or like ‘that disabled lady’ (you’d be surprised how often well-meaning people do this) and I was able to be just one of the group. And woo-hoo I didn’t fall even once while I was there! 🙂 Special thanks to a wonderful friend who played chauffeur both days so I was able to take pain meds when I needed to and not have to worry about driving later. ❤
One thing I learned over the course of the event is exactly how bad my “selfie” skills are, so there are not that many pictures with me in them. Here are some pictures other people have posted.
What is it called when you’re on vacation but don’t leave town? A “stay-cation?” It really wasn’t my vacation, I had an out-of-town guest, but it felt like a vacation to me.
We went to Disneyland
Such a gorgeous day!
Spooky
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!
The Haunted Mansion all decked out for Halloween
The best ride of them all, Space Mountain!
You’ll be singing the song for days and days…
Mr. Lincoln
We we lucky to have another gorgeous day when we went to the beach
My favorite photo of this group
We went sightseeing up in Griffith Park
Another beautiful day!
We also did a lot of visiting, eating yummy food, and laughing & reminiscing. So I didn’t actually go far, but I had a great vacation regardless.
Did any of you watch last night’s episode of The Fosters? If you missed it don’t worry, here are some screencaps of my photos.
It was so cool seeing photos I took for my own amusement up there on the TV screen, truly something that will put a smile on my face as long as I live! Thanks to everyone who made it happen, and extra special thanks to an extra special friend who made it possible for me to watch it as it aired. 🙂
Do any of you watch The Fosters on ABC Family? If you do, make sure you watch closely to Monday night’s episode, you might see some photos you’ll recognize. Not only was it directed by Norman Buckley (whom I love both as a director and a person) but they needed some still photos to use in the episode and chose mine! I’ve never had my photos appear on TV before so I am very excited about this. 🙂
If you’re not familiar with The Fosters here is a blurb from the website:
The Fosters is a compelling, one-hour drama about a multi-ethnic family mix of foster and biological kids being raised by two moms. Stef Foster, a dedicated police officer, and her partner Lena Adams, a school Vice Principal, have built a close-knit, loving family with Stef’s biological son from a previous marriage, Brandon, and their adopted twins, Mariana and Jesus. Their lives are disrupted in unexpected ways when Lena meets Callie, a hardened teen with an abusive past who has spent her life in and out of foster homes. Lena and Stef warily welcome Callie into their home thinking it’s just for a few weeks, until a more permanent placement can be found.
There are many reasons why The Fosters is awesome. Here are a few you might not be aware of:
Many people working on The Fosters are friends and former co-workers of mine.
Teri Polo’s character is Stef with an F, and as we all know people who spell Stefanie with an F instead of a PH are awesome. (Full disclosure, this is how my mom spelled her name.)
The series was co-created by Peter Paige. I have been a fan of Peter as an actor for a long time. A number of years ago I saw a flim called Say Uncle which Peter wrote, directed, produced, and starred in. It’s a fabulous movie and I encourage you all to see it.
I’ve loved Teri Polo since I’m With Her, and in my head she’s the First Lady of the United States. (West Wing reference.)
I can’t think of any other silly reasons to list here, but in all seriousness I’ve heard it is a really good show addressing some serious issues in both an honest and entertaining way. I haven’t seen it myself since I don’t have cable and there doesn’t seem to be any way to stream it on Roku, but a friend is letting me invite myself over to her place on Monday night to watch.
Too many words for you? In summary: My pictures are going to be on TV, yay!!!!!
Thanks to my my habit of rambling on about my life in a written form I know exactly when I first listened to Christopher Dallman.
From an entry dated 10/21/09:
This morning on the drive to work I became a little bit instantly obsessed with some of the lyrics in this song…
I’m not sure when I first heard his name though. I know he had been recommended to me more than once, I know he had been recommended to me by different people, and I know that the various people recommending him were all people whose musical tastes I trusted. I’m not sure who posted a link to buy his album, but at some point probably a month before that post I was buying some CDs from a website (physical CDs, remember those?) and sort of on a whim added Chris Dallman’s CD to my virtual shopping cart. I remember thinking that I should probably listen to some samples before spending money, and I remember laughing at myself for being too lazy and deciding to just buy the thing. (I rarely did this by the way, but it seemed like a pretty safe bet at the time.) I know that the CDs came in the mail and I immediately listened to whatever I had been all excited about ordering. I tossed Chris’s CD in my car, the inevitability of Los Angeles traffic making it a good place to listen to new music. I’m not sure how long the CD sat in my car before the morning I put it in the CD player. I listened to the first 30 seconds or so of each song before skipping to the next track, just so I could get a feel for what I was in for. (The musical equivalent of reading the last chapter before starting a new book. Something I do with music, but not books oddly enough.) Track 8. Over My Head. I couldn’t bring myself to hit the ‘next’ button. The song grabbed me instantly, it felt like the lyrics were speaking directly to me.
My favorite line in the song:
learning to live is so simple
but simple ain’t easy
and easy ain’t worth your time
I should be fearless
but still now I fear this
I keep looking down while I climb.
I’m not a bad driver normally, but I know I started swerving into another lane because I was so overcome by the beauty of what I was hearing and not paying attention to my surroundings. (I snapped out of that very quickly!) I spent the rest of the drive into work listening to Over My Head on repeat. I spent the next few weeks listening to the album on repeat. (Which sort of implies that I’ve stopped listening to it often. Not true at all, now I just mix it up with the rest of my favorites.) I discovered Chris was active on social media and we pretty quickly struck up a ‘twitter friendship.’
It feels strange to use the word ‘friendship’ in this context, but I don’t know how else to describe it. We chatted online. We weren’t the kind of friends who called each other when we were bored or hung out with each other in real life, but chatting regularly about our lives (albeit in a superficial kind of way) did bring some kind of familiarity to the situation. Maybe I was alone in this, but it certainly felt like Chris was a friend.
It was a gig in early November of 2009 when I first met Chris in person. I know it was a gig he did at Genghis Cohen, but somehow I didn’t journal/blog/post about it so I don’t have a lot to refer back to. It was around the release of the ‘Sad Britney’ CD (a collection of Britney Spears covers, each with Chris’s particular twist.) I remember he was surrounded as soon as he left the stage with what were obviously friends. Feeling shy, I decided not to push my way through the crowd to introduce myself, but no way was I leaving without buying the new CD. Unfortunately there seemed to be no ‘merch’ table so I had to wait until it was possible to grab Chris’s attention. Finally a small break in the crowd and I asked to buy a CD. I might have told him how much I enjoyed the set, but I didn’t introduce myself and I didn’t let him know I was one of the people he’d been interacting with online. While getting me change, Chris paused, looked me, then asked “are you bdbdb?” (My twitter name.) I was shocked he remembered my “name,” much less cared about meeting a twitter follower when so much else was going on around him at that moment. Chris smiled so brightly when I said yes. It wasn’t just me feeling this internet friendship-but-not-really-a-friendship-thing.
A sort of pattern developed where Chris would play a gig, I would bootleg the gig, Chris would pretend he didn’t know I was breaking the rules, and I would share the video files with him when I was done. On more than one occasion he even posted my videos online.
(I’ve never been called magnificent before!)
I love the music Chris makes. I think he’s got an amazing voice and is a skilled musician, but I think those two skills pale in comparison to his talent as a lyricist. I tend to collect phrases, lyrics, quotes, etc. the way some people collect stamps or spoons, and song after song I heard words that really touched me.
From Count the Shadows:
How do you measure
The difference between
The way you play and the hand you’re dealt
I must confess that
Every single day
I want to leave my cards face down on the felt
I think those are some very powerful words and ideas. Just like my tattoos, those words speak to me on a very deep and personal level. I’m out of wrists to tattoo (I should have been an octopus!) but I did come across someone who makes bracelets with sayings on them, and was very happy to make me one with song lyrics.
December of 2009: I was between jobs, but even if I had been working I wasn’t at the point where my employment came with health insurance. (Long detailed explanation, has to do with the nature of the entertainment industry and being able to join the union.) I wasn’t eligible for any government assistance with my medication. The pharmaceutical company itself had a program to help low income patients, but I wasn’t eligible for that either because when I did work I made too much money. (Yeah, it makes no sense, I know. But that’s the way it is.) The medication I was going to have to stop taking was a very expensive MS drug that is supposed to slow down the progression of the disease. But it wasn’t a ‘life-saving drug.’ By this I mean I wouldn’t die if I stopped taking it, and therefore there was not a lot of places to turn for help. I was very frustrated and posted something on twitter to that effect. Chris almost instantly replied with “how much do we need to raise?” We. The implication in that one little word was kind of astounding. We. You’re not alone. We. We’re all in this together.
Chris came up with the idea of holding a benefit concert. He recruited his friends Keeley Valentino, Syd, and George Stanford to volunteer to perform. A venue was secured, and the concert was announced on his website and social media. I don’t know how much time and effort Chris put into making this all happen, but I know it had to have been significant.
People who couldn’t come to the concert wanted to donate something. People I never would have thought of asking for help. People I knew didn’t have a whole lot of disposable income. People I knew only casually. People I didn’t know at all. So many people all came together to help me. I can’t even write about it without getting teary-eyed at the outpouring of love I was the subject of. All of those donations, large and small, added up to right around the target number even before the concert happened. The concert itself was indescribable. The music was beautiful, the room was full of smiling people, and my only worry was that I wouldn’t be able to get to everyone who came out to personally thank them. I felt so, so loved that night. It is an an experience I will treasure forever.
Chris posted on his website after the benefit:
I don’t know if I can really put this experience into words in a way that will explain what was happening in my head around then. I knew I needed money for medication, but there was something else I really needed, I just wasn’t aware of it at the time. Being told repeatedly by different organizations and agencies that they just couldn’t help you starts to take its toll after a while. Especially when they each refer you to the other to apply for help, in some sort of never-ending cycle of rejection. You start to feel that you are alone. You are powerless. There is nothing you can do. No one really cares. (People at these places would try to be helpful, it wasn’t as if they were mean or uncaring, but I was told to sell property or borrow money from family or any number of other things that were not an option for me.) You become a little resigned to the fact that you can only depend on yourself, if you can’t provide something for yourself (like medication) then you are just expected to go without… I’ve called Chris my ‘guardian angel’ on more than one occasion, but it wasn’t just the concert and money and medicine that I meant when I said that. Chris taught me that other people (people who barely know me) could be caring and giving. That sometimes I can ask for help when I need it. That no one is powerless when they are surrounded by good people. That I am not alone. It’s something so small, but so incredibly huge at the same time. That knowledge will improve my life every single day from now until I die.
I sent Chris a thank you email. I gave him a thank you card. I thanked him in person. I don’t think even once was I able to articulate just how much his actions mean to me.
Life continued to happen, as it does. Chris released new music which I loved. We stayed “twitter friends” and said hi at shows. As my disease has progressed I venture out into the world less and less, which makes the things I surround myself with more and more important. Chris’s beautiful music continues to be an ongoing presence in my life and source of joy.
At the end of May, 2013 Chris played his “farewell” concert at Room 5 in Los Angeles. It had been a while since I’d seen Chris perform live so I was excited, but sad at the same time. Chris (and Josh) deserve every bit of happiness in life and if this move will bring them closer to that, well, I support them a zillion percent. At the same time I’m selfish and I want to have a zillion opportunities to enjoy his music live in front of me. (Yes, I know I’m coming dangerously close to reducing a talented artist to “dance monkey, dance!” Sorry.)
Arrangements were made. Tickets were purchased. Friends provided transportation, and sat with me in Room 5 for hours before the show since that was the only way to ensure I had a seat. (Room 5 is one of many places that has told me they don’t do anything to accommodate people with disibilites and I was on my own, but that’s a rant for a different post.) I warned my friends I might get all emotional and embarrassing during the show, but they chose to be seen with me in public anyway. I held it together pretty well, making every effort to be present in the moment and fully enjoy the experience. Until Chris started singing Over My Head, that is. It was just too “full-circle” or something for me, and I pretty much cried through the entire song. I probably got a few strange looks.
And then it was over. We made our way out of the room and I hugged Chris goodbye. Just like the first meeting he was surrounded by friends wanting to celebrate with him.
It’s not as if I’ll never hear his music again. It’s not as if we will stop tweeting or facebooking or social media-ing. Really nothing has changed other than the lack of live concerts. (And I have an extensive library of bootlegs I can listen to when I’m missing that.) But I left that night determined to let Chris know what his presence in my life has meant to me, what a gift he has been. This post is my attempt. I hope I was successful.
Jennifer Kaplan 